A flag representing the trans community. (Image courtesy of Flickr user torbakhopper.)

The LGBTQ has many sub-communities within itself, and often while speaking on the whole, many supporters forget who all is included. One such group that seems to be sidelines in the “T.” Transgendered youth have struggles just like the rest of us, and their own plight is not something to take lightly. The discrimination transgendered people experience is part of our own, and unfortunately, as of late, I meet many people in the LGBTQ community who refuse to believe that transgendered individuals are the same as themselves.

With that in mind, I have been lucky enough to encounter two individuals who, despite the obvious lack of support regarding their gender identity, manage to keep a wonderful outlook on life. They are women. They were born women, and they will always be women. Unfortunately, whatever divine power there may be decided that they would be born sexually male, and due to this minor inconvenience, it has caused them to work through some of the most difficult and rewarding experiences of their entire lives. I wouldn’t know what all they experience, being a gay man who identifies as male, but I’m curious to see what actually goes on in their lives.

I know it may seem strange– a Fusion blogger hates talking about being gay? Well, okay, I only dislike it, and only sometime. But there are a few things you have to understand.

I am always asked the same questions. How do lesbians have sex? Do gay women have to be dykes? Do dykes want to be men?

I understand that people need to ask these questions, and especially those who have never even met a gay person. But frankly, it’s common sense. We fuck the same way heterosexuals do: with fingers, tongues, and toys. And yes, most heterosexuals do use some combination of these. Gay women don’t “have to” be anything, just like heterosexual women don’t “have to” be anything. We lesbians just put up with so much shit for our sexual orientation that we stop caring about narrow-minded ideas about gender expression. Also, dykes do not want to be men. Women who want to be men are called transgendered.

Sometime the questions I hear are just flat-out hilarious though.

“Can lesbians wear lingerie?”

Yes, I have been asked that question. My first thought was, “will I burst into flame if I try to put it on? Is that what this chick is asking me?”  What came out of my mouth was, “Yes. Everyone likes to feel sexy, and lingerie does that for many people, gay or straight.”

But, the best is when I tell someone I’m gay. Everyone seems to think that I need their approval. When I “come out” the person I’m speaking to will frequently make a “panic” face and proceed to assure me that they don’t have a problem with it.

I didn’t come out yesterday. I don’t care about whether or not you have a problem with my sexual orientation. If you don’t have a problem with me being gay, then why flip out when I inform you? If you don’t “approve” of my sexual orientation… do you really think that’s going to make me enjoy lesbian sex any less? Or be in love with my girlfriend any less?

Usually if the individual in question is respectful, I will answer whatever question he or she throws at me. But the fact is– google exists. Books do too. I’m pretty much done with the ignorance.